


Love.

by Kasplode



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Cuddles, F/M, Family, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Post Steven Universe Future Episode 19, Spoilers for ‘I Am My Monster’
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23356366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kasplode/pseuds/Kasplode
Summary: Steven with his family, in the days following his break down.(Set after Steven Universe Future Episode 19, ‘I Am My Monster’)Hey, you, show me that solvable problemWe can get through thisI'll do the hardest part with you
Relationships: Amethyst & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Garnet & Steven Universe, Pearl & Steven Universe
Comments: 20
Kudos: 282





	Love.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been watching this show since 2013. I was 12. I’m 18 now. What a ride, huh?
> 
> I’m not letting go yet, but for now, I suppose this is my goodbye to Steven Universe.
> 
> These characters mean a lot to me.

Steven is exhausted.

For the first time in several days, he’s actually alone. He’s sitting in the kitchen, staring out the window at the beach and the horizon beyond. He’d been playing games with Amethyst all morning, and now she’s left the house for her class at Little Homeschool. It’s nice to finally have a moment of quiet.

The Diamonds and Spinel went back to Homeworld a few days ago, at the insistence of Steven and the gems. He appreciates that they care, but Spinel was right, back then. Sometimes you need to _not_ see someone for a while.

The rest his family have been all but smothering him in love. It seems that every moment of every day, there’s at least one aggressively loving person by his side; be it Dad, Connie, Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, Bismuth, Peridot or Lapis.

‘ _That’s so many_ ,’ Steven can’t help but think, sometimes. _‘So many people here. So many people I love, who love me. How did I ever feel so alone?’_

But smothered as he is, it feels like he’s never been able to breathe quite so easily. 

They’ve kept him busy, made sure he doesn’t do too much. 

* * *

The day after his breakdown, Steven forces his tired body out of bed, where Connie is curled up beside him, passed Pearl, who has apparently taken up the whole ‘watching him while he sleeps’ thing again, and downstairs to make himself breakfast.

“Good morning Steven,” Pearl greets him, following him downstairs. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m-” Steven stops before he can say ‘fine’ and stares at the kitchen counter for a moment. Saying that will never be the same again, he thinks.

“I’m tired. I feel better than yesterday, though,” he says.

It’s true. Every move he makes is weighed down as if gravity is pulling at him harder than usual, trying to push him into the ground. But still, he can stand, and his emotions seem to have finally settled after the riotous rollercoaster of the past few days.

Pearl claps, rewarding his improved mood with a smile. A spark of happiness lights in Steven, but.

How long has it been since he’s made one of the gems smile? How long has it been since he’s even _seen_ them smile, without sadness there to corru- _ruin_ it?

Steven turns back to the counter. He’s _so_ tired, but it’s no good if he goes back to bed now. He needs to get something in him, and with his current lack of energy, that ‘something’ may as well be a protein shake.

“Oh, Steven,” Pearl says, when Steven grabs the protein powder, “you need something with more substance than that to keep your strength up! I wanted to make breakfast for you and Connie.” She glances at the couch, “And Greg too, when he wakes up.”

Steven’s face falls against his wishes. He’s already caused so much trouble, he doesn’t want the gems to feel like they need to take care of his every whim and will just because he couldn’t handle himself!

Pearl looks at him, and her expression becomes a little less sure. “That is, if you’d like me to. I understand if you’d prefer to take care of it yourself, I just…”

And heck, he’s made _Pearl_ lost for words. _Not_ what he wants to do.

Steven forces himself to take a deep breath, breathing out the muggy smokiness invading his lungs. “No, it’s okay. If you want to, I’d love to eat your cooking again. It’s been a while.”

Pearl gives him a crooked smile and pulls him into a quick hug. “Excellent! I have so many recipes I’ve been meaning to try out. Maybe you can hang around and be my taste-tester today?”

He’d wanted to start helping the clean-up at Little Homeworld, but he supposes he can wait for an hour or two. For Pearl.

“Yeah. Sounds great.”

Steven convinces Pearl to let him help cook, needing to keep himself occupied. Connie comes down when she wakes up, and the noise of their conversation proves to be enough to rouse his dad.

Amethyst comes in from her room and is ecstatic to see so much food cooking. It takes Steven, Connie and Pearl’s combined efforts to save their breakfast from the voracious gem.

Garnet appears when the food is laid out on the table and makes herself comfortable, Cat Steven sitting in her hair.

Steven sits down with them all, feeling light for the first time in weeks.

* * *

He had eventually managed to sneak away to go to Little Homeworld, but as if she had future vision of her own, Bismuth was waiting at the warp when he arrived.

 _“You’ve been cleaning up everyone else’s messes for so long, Steven. You can sit this one out,”_ Bismuth had assured him, ushering him back onto the warp pad and taking him back home herself. He still felt bad, but in the end, he appreciated it. 

He still isn’t ready to face everyone after wrecking Little Homeworld.

Tears well up in his eyes. He wipes at them frantically, but it’s no use. He’s been crying with startling frequency, and when he starts, it’s hard to stop.

And lately, when he cries, he is soon comforted. Before the first tear reaches his chin, there are big, multicoloured hands picking him up and carrying him to the couch. 

When he’s put down again, he finds himself sat not on well-loved upholstery, but the strangely warm lap of a gem.

It’s way, way too comfortable to sit in Garnet’s lap, cradled in loving arms.

“I’m sixteen, Garnet,” he protests weakly. “You don’t need to- to put me in your lap like this anymore.”

“Nonsense,” Garnet says, giving him a little squeeze, “you’re never too old for affection.”

“Heh. I guess you’re right.” Steven’s voice comes out a little wet, as it often tends to do these days.

“I hope you’re prepared to not move for the next hour,” Garnet adds.

“What?”

A furry warmth climbs into his lap, and Steven is delighted to see Cat Steven making herself at home there.

“ _Oh.”_ Steven melts as Cat Steven begins to pur, and he scratches gently behind her ears. 

As predicted, they remain that way for an hour before Steven’s tears dry and the void in his chest closes up, at which point Cat Steven stands, stretches, and walks away with a little miaow.

* * *

Connie returns to the house in the afternoon. She’s been spending an hour or so each day at the library, getting in some college prep while she’s away from home. Quite conspicuously, she’s only been studying when Dad or the gems have some kind of activity planned to keep him occupied for that time.

They sit down together for lunch, holding hands over the table, as Connie tells him about how she thinks gem technology defies physics. She asks after Steven’s day, and he tells her about the doctor’s appointment he’s booked and his impromptu cuddle session with Garnet and Cat Steven. 

They fall into a comfortable silence, which of course is when Steven’s brain decides to throw everything in his face again. He doesn’t cry this time, but he feels the wrinkles of his frown.

“What is it?” Connie asks.

Steven bites his lip. He doesn’t want to bother her with it. But he can’t keep everything bottled up. If nothing else, he’s learnt his lesson about _that._

“It’s just… I’m thinking about what happened. I’m worried that you’re still here. You should go home! I don’t want you to risk your future for me. You need to study, not look after me.”

“Steven, I’m here because I _want_ to be,” Connie says. “Some things are more important than studying. It’s really not going to hurt for me to be here a bit longer. But that’s not all you’re worried about, is it?”

“Yeah. My…” he takes a deep breath, has to accept it, has to _say_ it, “corruption. I really could’ve hurt people. You and Dad, all of the gems. And Beach City, Little Homeworld! I’m- or at least. My powers are dangerous. It’s scary. And I don’t know if I can ever make up for everything I’ve done with them.”

Connie gives him that _look._ That warm one, where her eyes go all soft, the one she gives because she’s concerned and she loves him and she wants to make everything better. Her other hand comes up to sandwich his own.

“Whatever happens from here,” Connie says slowly, “I can’t promise it’ll be easy. There’s no one, instant way to fix everything, or control your powers, or get better.” She squeezes his hands. Her sword-calloused hands, smaller than his own, are firm and strong.

“I know it was scary, and I understand why you’re scared. But what-ifs won’t help, okay? No one was hurt. The house wasn’t damaged, you didn’t get anywhere near Beach City. 

“You can’t change what happened. But you’ve done so much good you shouldn’t ignore, and you can _keep_ doing good. You aren’t alone, and we will _never_ let you feel alone again. We’ve _all_ learnt from this, and we’ll do everything we can to make sure you don’t break down, or become corrupted again.”

Connie looks him in the eye, holding his hand tight. “And if, somehow, things go wrong again? We will make it better. Crystal Gems _always_ find a way.”

The tears come again, and Connie holds him tight as he clings to her. 

“ _Thank you.”_

* * *

Steven sits at the table, surrounded by his family. 

He doesn’t know what’s going to happen from here. He isn’t sure he’ll ever be okay again. He’s terrified he’ll break down again one day, and won’t come back. 

The future is a foggy, unknowable mystery ahead of them all. There are still so many questions and uncertainties plaguing him.

But now, Steven’s pretty sure he has the beginnings of the way forward, a start for the answer.

He looks between his family members, so full of compassion and life, looks around the house, adorned by years of soft memories and tough decisions and firm, unending determination. He smiles.

Yeah, Steven’s pretty sure. 

The answer… is _love._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, guys. 💞
> 
> Let me know what you think, and feel free to cry with me over the finale in the comments xx
> 
> (PS, Sorry Amethyst, I wrote this in one go without planning & couldn’t find a good place to let you shine.)


End file.
